The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
