after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
