Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
