The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i out mim tonsoeep
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