Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just had sex on a roof
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
