Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
