wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize