My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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