You work out of a Hotel?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
