Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
