In the future we'll all be gay
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
