I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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