bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
