I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
