:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
