: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
