i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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