I'm pants shitting drunk right now
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
