Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
