dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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