There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
