i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
