The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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