i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
