why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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