On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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