this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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