Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
