i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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