His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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