It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
