lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
