Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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