Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
