MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
