She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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