I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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