i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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