Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
