any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
