I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize