I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
