ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
