You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
