Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
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