I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
