I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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