I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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