thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
