I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
