he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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