every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
