They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
