he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
