His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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