Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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