U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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