So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
