Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
