don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
