What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
please come you make the beer taste better
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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