Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
