How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize